English Murder Mystery

I love her but she loves Agatha Christie

And she's so wrapped up in the English Murder Mystery

I was nowhere near the scene of the crime

I was nowhere around at the time

Someone dropped arsenic in Mr Robinson's wine

Getting angry doesn't suit her

Says her English literature tutor

She's a sheep in wolves clothing

It's a bad disguise

I couldn't help noticing with due surprise

That she's dotted her t's and crossed her i's

And she wants to take me away to a hotel in

Bornmouth for the holidays

What's murder and suspense between good friends?

We took a cliched clifftop walk

And I made the mistake of mentioning Peter Falk

She says American TV has killed the murder mystery

'Cause the killer's always caught by 10.23

I had the motive but she gave me the means

A dagger in the drawing room just after tea

She was Miss Scarlet with embarrassment

And envy turned me Reverend Green

I love her but she loves Agatha Christie

She's dead serious about her family history

But she made me promise that I'd never hurt her

She looked so suspicious at the supper I served her

One mans meat is another man's murder

And she wants to put me away in a room without a view for a long holiday

What's prosecution and defence?

What's common law and common sense?

What's a barbed wire electrified fence between friends?