Straits of Malacca

There is a house in Penang

So well known to the old gang

Brace yourselves, take up the slack

In our mouths, the rubber bits

Then exposed whereon one sits

First the swish and then the crack

I've a predilection, a liking for the pain ]

Of a taste of the cat and a touch of cane ]

Oh, play up, play up and play the game ] (Chorus)

Had the preference since school

Simply had to break the rules

Short sharp shocks, ah, swish, swish, swish

Shirt tails up, long shorts down

In a sleazy part of town

Broke a tooth? - then make a wish

(Chorus)

Much it costs, this little treat

It's the high point of the week

One more drink - anaesthetised

It's a very private show

Over the table we now go

Perk your bottoms and roll your eyes

(Chorus)