Alexander The Great

Old School Songs

They called him Alexander

With the best band in the land

He'd topped the bill in Paris

But in Venice it was banned

A pile of dusty gold discs

Were among his claims to fame

There was no-one over sixty

Who didn't know his name.

Alexander you were great

The man the critics loved to hate

You could have been as big as the Beatles or the Stones

Alexander you became

The lonely housewife's favourite name

You could have been the greatest of them all.

The gig was held in honour

Of his golden jubilee

He did not need the money

So he said he'd play for free

He got the band together

Who'd been with him through the years

They rehearsed the Alexander songs

And shed nostalgic tears.

The crowd rose to their feet

When Alexander hit the stage

His face had been rebuilt

So that you could not tell his age

He played all of the old songs

And the crowd sang every word

He danced like Margot Fonteyn

And whistled like a bird.

He came on for the encore

But collapsed against the stand

The crowd was hushed, the doctor came

There was panic in the band

He diagnosed a broken heart

The critics had been fed

Their reviews became

Obituary notices instead