Art Carney's Dream

in a dream about you, i snuck

passed st. peter and the

pearly gate, and then the alarm went off,

and you were

warned, 'cos the sign flashed "second rate" -

with my ears all full of wax and my hair greasy and

crawling with lice, i ran over

and hunkered down and hid

there behind the tree of life - i saw the humble and the

meek passing by the proud and important, but i kept

my distance from them 'cos i smelled like ed norton and

i kept cutting my feet on the blades of sharp diamond

grass, and all the sick and indecent things i'd done went

by in just a flash - my singed beard caught the sweat, the

tears, the blood, the crud, and the saliva -

i had a mouth full of dirty sores and vincent's angina -

got this feeling you and all the people knew all along

that i was hiding over there, with my filthy little past and

my dirty underwear

then i caught sight of you

and your beauty broke my heart

i hung back in the deep shadows

'cos i was stinking to high heavens

well what could i do, your beauty broke my heart

wanted to crawl back in my man-hole then

'cos i was stinking to high heaven

well i admired the fine clothes of

all the saints that were

passing me by, in their pretty chiffon

gowns, their wings

and their silk suits and ties -

their language was a foreign tongue,

maybe latin or greek but all the prayers

that i

whispered there to you were stupid,

obscene and weak -

then i got this idea to cover myself

in a thorny bush

disguise and laying low i crept

along the shores of the river of life -

i saw a wondrous city of pure crystal

with it's streets all made of gold and then i smoked a

camel cigarette and shivered there in the cold -

i turned around and saw a beautiful mansion,

all going up in flames -

there was a stone sign in the front yard, and on it

someone had carved my name and the angels rolled out a

fire hose, they were tryin' to save the place - i felt they

could probably use my help, but i didn't dare show my

face - and when the smoke had cleared i cried out when i saw

that everything was lost - there was no mansion anymore

just a single wooden cross

and then an angel tapped me on the shoulder, he said

"boy, you sure do smell like sin and

this place is pretty crowded

but i think we can squeeze you in"

then i caught sight of you

and your beauty broke my heart

i looked at you

and your beauty broke my heart

oh, what to do now

oh, what to do now

don't know what to do now

'cause your beauty broke my heart now…