Santa's Rap

Ho Ho Ho

Open up ya do`

I'm Santa Claus and guess what y'all

I got something to show

I came to bring some Christmas Spirit

I got a big bag now guess what's in it

Something for the rich and something for the po`

So Merry Christmas and ho ho ho

L.A. Sunshine:

Ho Ho Ho Merry Christmas my foot

I'ma tell you what Santa really put

Under my so-called tree but in reality

Looked like nothin but a decorated pole to me

Special K:

Man, you talk about a tree it makes wonder

Cause I never had a tree to put anything under

If I ever did luck up and get a tree

There was never anything under it for me

Kool Moe Dee:

Man I don't what y'all talking about

Cause when I come to your town I just get chased out

I thought you would be happy to see Santa Claus

But all y'all say is stick 'em up and give me yours

L.A. Sunshine:

You lucky all you did was get ripped off

The next just keep your big fat ass up north

Because after my last few Christmas nights

If I see you around my neighborhood I'm shooting on sight

Special K:

And I ain't even got a chimney for you to come down

So ain't no need for you to be coming around

Cause the last so called Santa that came in with a sack

Wasn't giving out presents he was taking them back

Kool Moe Dee:

Man y'all should be glad that I didn't quit

Cause I'm getting too old for this Santa Claus shit

Y'all thinking I'm getting presents made for free

I gotta' pay them elves and ain't nobody paying me

L.A. Sunshine:

You big fat whale you might as well quit

Cause I can name a hundred presents that I didn't get

And if I did get a present it would be a hand-me-down

Yo I got this for Christmas now how that sound

Special K:

It sounds good to me cause I'm about to freeze

You wanna see something look at the bottom of these

Me and brothers can't go out at the same time

Cause a coat that's theirs is a coat that's mine

Kool Moe Dee:

Man I know one thing y'all better get off my neck

And wait till you get ya welfare check

Go on down to the office and stand on the line

Better hurry up see I got mine

Chorus:

Jingle, Jangle, Jingle for the po`

And once you get your welfare check

Yo kiss my mistletoe

Ho Ho Ho

Ho Ho Ho

L.A. Sunshine:

That's why the presents keep getting mixed up

Cause year after year you keep fucking up

And now I know why cause you're always drunk

Instead of G.I. Joe you send me this junk

Special K:

That ain't a G.I. Joe that's a G.I. jerk

With a kungfu grip that don't even work

So all I did was just put him away

Cause my G.I. Joe looked G.I. gay

Kool Moe Dee:

That's why you don't get presents now

Cause you're just ingrates

If the G.I. Joe is gay what difference does it make

After all he's just a doll ain't too much he can do

If you ask me boy I ain't to sure about you

Special K:

Man forget about that what about these shoes

Instead of Christmas Carols I'm singing the blues

Staring at the clock looking hard at the time

Cause I just played the number combinated on a dime

L.A. Sunshine:

I played 234 and put a penny on 7

Combinated 412 and deleted 11

Put my last five cents on 356

And after all that I didn't hit shit

Chorus:

Jingle, Jangle, Jingle for the po`

And once you get your welfare check

You won't play in numbers no mo

Ho, ho, ho won't play'em no mo

L.A. Sunshine:

Alright listen bloato which your big fat suit

Next time say no don't send no substitute

Because I asked you for a beatbox and you know what I got?

Doug E Fresh, you know that kid from down the block

Doug E Fresh: (Beatboxing)...fresh!!!

Special K:

For a fascimile we must admit

Doug E Fresh is good and made a perfect fit

He's the only reason why we weren't totally mad

Without Doug E our Christmas would've been really sad

Chorus:

Jingle, Jangle, Jingle for the po`

And once you get your welfare check

Even Doug E Fresh go go

Ho,ho,ho Doug E Fresh go go

L.A. Sunshine:

To top Christmas off I had no loving in a while

I love to have sex but I can't afford a child

My girl wants a baby but I had to chill

She said if you don't want a baby then you take the pill

Special K:

What is Christmas for? Huh

What is Christmas for?

L.A. Sunshine:

What is Christmas for?

L.A. Sunshine & Special K:

Yeah! What is Christmas for?

Kool Moe Dee:

Wind up toys that don't wind up

Talking dolls that don't shut up

This is the type of present that you buy when you're poor

So that's what you have to settle for

And it ain't no secret that everything's sunny

If you're living in Palm Springs with all that money

Americanomics works and I won't argue that is true

But if the economy is getting better, getting better for who?

Well if you ask me I'm doing much worse than before

With the welfare cuts I don't eat no more

So if I did wanna' go out I couldn't go no where

Cause I ate every last one of them reindeer

Rudolph first I went down the list

I got so hungry I just couldn't resist

I ate Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Dixon

Fried'em up and then started to mix'em

And before you knew it they were all gone

I wonder what y'all gonna do about my reindeer song

L.A. Sunshine & Special K:

We'll sing silent night and jingle bells

And all those christmas rhymes

Cause nobody gives a shit

About your reindeer and hard times

You just Jingle and Jangle and hang out with the po

and when you get your welfare check

You can rent them by the sto

Kool Moe Dee:

Well let's get Doug E Fresh and Magnificent Force

And head on out the do

And leave these party people singing

Jingle, Jangle for the po

Chorus:

Jingle, Jangle, Jingle for the po`

Don't take us for granted cause you may never know

One day when you least expect it

We could even up the sco

So just jingle, jangle, jingle with the po`

Sing!

Jingle, jangle, a jingle jangle with the po`

Jingle, jangle, jingle with the po`

Jingle, jangle, a jingle jangle with the po`

Jingle, jangle, jingle with the po`