I Won't Leave My Wooden Wife For You, Sugar

Now listen, Baby,

And try to understand

That tying you is fine

And whipping you is grand.

Now I just can't tell you how much fun it's been.

You make me feel twenty-five again.

But I can't leave my wooden wife for you, sugar

I got a split level house with a wonderful view, sugar,

A couple next door who do the things we do, sugar,

And every Saturday we sit around the pool.

If I should meet you on the street someday,

I hope you'll understand me if I look away,

It isn't that I'm ashamed about you and me

But I've got to consider my morality.

And I won't leave my wooden wife for you, sugar,

I got a split level house with a wonderful view,

sugar,

Three sweet kids and Yorkshire terrier, too,

sugar.

And I just couldn't stand it when you chome late from school.