Power

You were a friend to me

You told me all that was on your mind

And it meant so much to me

From the beginning

How it was so kindred-spirited to mine

I would think of you sometimes

In the early morning

As I dressed to meet a plane

Before the cab came

How I let you down when I had the most to give

How I let you down but you were quick to forgive

You wanted to help me

You wanted to sit and talk for hours

But I wanted power

I tried words

I tried feelings

I tried close-my-eyes believing

I tried getting you on my side

I tried being on top of it

I tried responsibility

I express myself properly

I got blindly angry, with my whole heart in it

But there was no conduit

There was no sure way to it

I thought that I had blown it

The further I got in it

The stranger it was to win it

I could not have it

But still I searched from sheer force of habit

I felt like I was descending

Some strange inverted tower

Looking for my power

I wanted permission

I wanted expedition

I wanted to have weight to throw around

For you to look up

When I found something so beautiful

And I could tell you somehow

I'd never have to shout

You would listen to my know-how

All the love our love allows

I felt so clumsy and plain

I was filled with so much shame

Just trying to say, to say, to say

To call out anything by name

Every line felt lifted

Every smooth stone was pitted

By the wind and rain that hit it

And I never could forget it, as you forgot it

I wanted to set it all down

So it would open to you like a flower

Yes, I wanted power

I fell asleep on the plane

And I woke up strange

Twisted in the pale blue seat

An hour gone by

The Sun was rising again, keeping distant

Over the blackened blue rim of the sky

I spent my whole life thinking

That I was some kind of coward