I Don't Like Who I Was Then

Tossed around like sea glass and you rounded out my edges

I'll feel better when the headaches go away

I got a scar across my forehead, turning purple in the cold

From a night at shore memorial

I was 16 and afraid

Turned away, like I'm working baby face

Out of mid-south in the 80's

I kept a blade hidden in my wrist tape

I think I'm growing into someone you could trust

I want to shoulder the weight until my back breaks

I want to run until my lungs give up

If I could manage not to fuck this up

If I could manage not to fuck this up

I think enough is enough

Hidden in the tall grass in the naked light of day

I put my past-self in the ground

I've been dancing on the grave

I'm not the person that I was then

I'm tearing him away

I was bitter. I was careless

I was 19 and afraid

But you deserved more from me

I don't know why I would say those things

But you deserved more from me and I'm trying every day

I think I'm growing into someone you could trust

I want to shoulder the weight until my back breaks

I want to run until my lungs give up

If I could manage not to fuck this up

If I could manage not to fuck this up

I think enough is enough

You left me walking in circles

You were a shot in the dark

You were the baby teeth I buried

You were the sounds of distant cars

You left me walking in circles

You were a shot in the dark

You were the banner that says "no one"

That I tattooed across my heart

You left me walking in circles

You were a shot in the dark

You're scattered like ashes across every song that I write

You're where the light pollution starts

I think I'm growing into someone you could trust

I want to shoulder the weight until my back breaks

I want to run until my lungs give up

If I could manage not to fuck this up

If I could manage not to fuck this up

Enough is enough