It's Not Getting Any Good

while i'm / working to afford to have fun with you i'm distracted

to / stillness by the thinking of you from beach to top mountains

paula this / indistinguished suburb grinds my sleep teeth to ruin & powder

you know it to be / true you heard it held me woke me close whispered how it'll

be soon you said / worry baby sleepy head

cut back to / me young and unpressured in contrast to aunts and to uncles

8 & 10 / older at the cusp of adulthood away walk from play time

i knew then of / those days gold status how they'd look back to fix their hearts worn

and yet here i am write of when i had so many they were of no value when

laid unnumbered end to end / but it's not getting any good

that's a bandage / that we've been using

best of a decade / not while we're here in secaucus bound

let's stop pretending / in never endings

another decade / or until we're out of the hope you found

let's abandon / this house to camden

messed up a decade / let's get away from these home and towns

cause something's missing / we hide by kissing

rest up a decade / we'll need our strength to escape this town

can't tell myself from hopes i've drowned / can't tear myself from this safety town

can't tell each other from stupid clowns