Rudolph VS. Frosty

Everyone knows Rudolph has a big, red shiny nose

And Frosty comes to town every December when it snows

But did you know that those two never really got along?

I bet you've never heard this Christmas song

I've paid my dues for years and years, I'm Santa's very favorite deer, so I should be the second in command at Christmastime, says Rudolph

Pull the sleigh where Santa goes and light the night with my red nose, I think it's time for me to get what's mine

Night lights are replaceable--a talking snowman's magical; my agent says I need a bigger piece of Santa's pie, says Frosty

I bring children real joy, not just the latest stupid toy, I think it's time for me to get what's mine

Then Rudolph rang his reindeer bells

Turned and sang with all the elves

Hey Hey Hey

Santa's on his way

You'd better stop that bickering before it's Christmas day

Ho Ho Ho

Egg nog and mistletoe

And Santa's gonna take a torch and melt you to the floor

"Frosty, you've got coal for eyes, when things get hot you won't survive, so get out of my way, this job is mine all mine (now snowman step aside)," says Rudolph

"Rudolph, man, your claim to fame's a lightbulb and a funny name, and everybody knows I'm next in line"

Rudolph with your nose so bright

Won't you kiss my corn cob pipe

Hey Hey Hey

Santa's on his way

You'd better stop that bickering before it's Christmas day

Ho Ho Ho

Egg nog and mistletoe

And Santa's gonna mount you in his living room for show

"Hey Rudolph!"

"What?"

"I wrote a song about you!"

"Oh boy"

"You wanna hear it? Here it go

Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer

Had a very shiny nose

And when ol' St. Nick saw it

He thought it would look really good mounted on his wall"

"Oh you think that's funny? Well check this out?

Frosty the Snowman

Was a puddle on the ground

And a makeshift scoop for the reindeer poop

Is the best use for his magic hat I've found"

With a nod of his head, Rudolph took to the sky, and swooping down, he gouged at Frosty with an antler to the eye

But Frosty struck right back and grabbed his bright red nose, and turned it right into a popcicle as Rudolph's whole head froze

But Rudolph broke the ice, shook his antlers twice, and raced back in to strike again

But then a "Ho Ho Ho!" came booming from the sky, the echoed voice of you-know-who

With the cookies and milk and a bowlful of jelly in his belly

And a dash through the sky, and a twinkle in his eye, St. Nick

With a bag full of toys for the good girls and boys on his shoulder

And a "Ho Ho Ho!" and a "Look out below!" St. Nick

With the cookies and milk and a bowlful of jelly in his belly

And a dash through the sky, and a twinkle in his eye, St. Nick

With a bag full of toys for the good girls and boys on his shoulder

And a reindeer call and a "Dash away all!" St. Nick

"You two ougtta be ashamed, you've sullied Santa's perfect name, this operation would go down the drain if I retired," says Santa

"Neither of you gets the job, so go and join the Grinch's mob, and Merry Christmas both of you, you're fired!"

Then Santa broke into a smile

Said, "Everyone else stay awhile"

Hey Hey Hey

Santa's here today

And now it's time for Christmas dinner, everyone awaits

Ho Ho Ho

Everything's alright

'Cause Mrs. Claus has whipped us up a Christmas feast tonight

Hey Hey Hey

Santa's here today

And now it's time for Christmas dinner, everyone awaits

Ho Ho Ho

Everything's alright

'Cause Santa's having venison and snow ice cream tonight