If I Were An Owl

If I were an owl and you were a mouse i wouldn't

eat you up for breakfast

I'd take you under my owly wing and

buy you presents for christmas

i'd haunt the oak tree late at night

tryin' to figure out who who

whoooooo you were

If I were a cat and you were a bird I wouldn't

chase you, no matter what you've heard

except to maybe try to get your number.

Sure I couldn't call you up without opposable thumbs

and it'd be an awkward date, in fact it'd be kinda dumb but i'd

do anything i could to get close to you

if you were a letter and i was a stamp

i'd drown myself just tryin' to get damp so we'd

be stuck stuck stuck together

we'd go miles without a return address

mailbox bound i'd just caress

your envelope so sweetly

or if i was the bird and you were the letter,

i'd weave you into my nest and we'd live together

if i was ten feet tall and you were a ketchup packet

i'd make you a clumsy-knit little tiny little jacket

anything to make your condiment-life a little better

even ketchup can get cold in winter weather

if i was a boy and you were a girl

i'd love you so damn hard it'd make your hair curl

anything to make your life a little better

even the best of us get cold in lousy weather