If You're Ugly, Forget It

Oh, can you see that girl's

Immaculate shoulder?

Do you want to get

Your name on her folder?

Hope may spring eternal

But you should not let it:

Hear the unspoken words -

"If you're ugly, forget it".

Oh, can you see that guy?

No wonder you hate him:

He's captain of the footy -

You, of the debating.

You have the rest of your life

With which to regret it -

Obey the unstated rule:

"If you're ugly, forget it".

There's still one place left

For the desperate try hard -

Become an artist;

Join the avaunt garde.

But even in the ghettos

You're likely to get it -

That unbroken rule:

"If you're ugly, forget it".

And so to suicide

You are finally driven.

You'll ask old St. Peter,

"Can I get into heaven?"

He'll point to your tombstone -

The sentence? You've read it:

The unwritten law -

"If you're ugly, forget it".

The worst bands are the most popular.

Arseholes make the most money.

Insecure twats become famous.

Lunatics embrace religion.

Incompetent people are the loudest.

Stands of principle are the least genuine.

Government funding means people don't like it.

Well read people don't know anything.

The avant garde are deeply conservative.

Saving the world is a waste of resources.

Throw out what's useful and re-cycle your garbage.

Nothing happens to ambulance subscribers.