The Ballad Of Paul Keating

I.

I love a sunburnt country,

A land of pouring rain -

Where the only thing you cannot be

Is someone with a brain.

Paul, he could be wrong,

But that's not where he erred:

How dare he just come along

And call a turd a turd?

It ain't just the fucking sheep

That do the fucking bleating -

There's sixteen million Australians,

And only one Paul Keating.

II.

The future is a road too long

To ever really harass us.

We'll drive past Paul hitch hiking on

The freeway to Damascus.

Look at the woggy suit he's got on;

He probably drinks light;

It's not that we knew he was wrong,

But that he knew he was right.

Paul's the man to call the charge

That gets us all retreating.

There's sixteen million Australians,

And only one Paul Keating.

III.

Australia's heart is a living room,

It's soul a Ford Cortina;

It needs an intellectual vacuum

To take it to the cleaner.

To do the job, it's Paul for mine,

When we realise we all blundered

The day we wake up to find

He had us all out numbered.

That little black duck will give us all

A well deserved fist beating.

There's sixteen million Australians,

And only one Paul Keating.

IV.

He's the man who hits a nerve

In the public's self perception.

You get the leaders you deserve;

He is the exception.

There's the "little Aussie bleeder" crap -

What a load of damn pretension -

Some housewife spouting brainless pap

For the media's attention.

Flick the switch to vaudeville!

In shopping centres he'll be greeting

The sixteen million Australians

Who are not Paul Keating.

V.

Australia's sons let us rejoice,

For we are young and free.

That means we've got the right to choice -

And give the arse to old Paulie.

Advance Australia fucking fair,

This nation we will throttle -

I hope that Paul is fucking there

To put some blood on the fucking wattle.

Let's have an election here and now:

Someone has been cheating!

There's sixteen million Australians,

And only one vote for Paul Keating.