There's More Men In Children Than Wisdom Knows

It was at that very bar I had my worst trip -

It was only last Saturday, I'd come to the Grip

With Keegan and Troy and a few other skegs

When this weird dude comes up to me and he says:

"I got some leaf the other day up at Byron

And a couple of cones - you wanna try 'em?"

Now, I know I was pissed and the light's pretty bad

But I looked at this dude - and it was my dad!

I was speechless - I stayed rigid with fright.

He said: "Do you know Evan censored fucked Kylie censored Friday night?"

His hair was in dreds; his T-shirt said Slaam -

I couldn't believe this was the old man.

I see him every day hanging around with bankers.

"TISM play here next Saturday", he said. "They're wankers."

"But Dad...", I stammered, "you're...you're...I mean, you're not..."

Just then my Uncle Leroy came up. "Woa", he said. "Awesome pot."

I looked 'round this club - my sight, it was hazy -

But there was Aunt Ethol, and Uncle Fred, and wife Daisy!

My eyes finally focused on this host of drug takers:

My whole family was here - and they'd turned into skaters.

"Gotta lash, dude", said Dad, "can't afford to linger

I gotta get your mum home for a bit of stinkfinger."

I fainted right there in a swoon on the floor;

Keegan and Troy took me out by that very door.

It was like watching a movie from end to beginin';

It was like forcing Michael censored to fuck older women;

It was all in reverse, all a horrid contrast -

It was like seeing Jennifer censored put the Coke bottle up Johnny censored's arse.

I woke up next morning - all was normal again.

"Listen son", said Dad, "I want you home by ten.

You were raving last night; your friends are all thugs;

You were so out of it I think you're on drugs."

I grabbed his hand, said, "Dad - thank god it's you!

And you're telling me off! Oh Dad, I love you!!"

"Smartarse", he muttered, and went off to work

The same boring, normal, conventional jerk.

So skaters and skegheads and surfers - be warned -

Thank god for parents and teachers and policeman uniformed:

Remember as you slag them off and you cuss;

When you are forced to do homework, and at the next drug bust -

I have had a vision of a world even more suss.

Remember - it would be worse if they acted like us.