My Eating Disorder

Drug addict since single digits

Vitamins to fight the fidgets

They put something in my apple sauce but i found it

Now that i'm finally twenty-six

Just smother it with a cigarette

No, i haven't had dinner yet--what about it?

It would be so easy to say it was my parents that destroyed my brain

It was their drugs that drove me insane--i wouldn't be alone with all the blame

No, i never felt so free from sin as when i was screaming out "i can't win!"

If it's not too late to start again, open up that womb and i'll crawl right in

And when i refuse, don't begrudge me

I can feel you starting to judge me

I'm starting to feel, i'm feeling ugly

Opened my eyes to a sever ed head

Except i didn't know it was dead

Only that it bled and bled upon my plate

Now they pass me from hand to hand

Pharmacist to marlboro man

Back to pharmacist again, too late

I know the worlds a scary place--that's why i hide behind a hairy face

Blue devils try to explain it way--blue devils started it in the first place

Nobody answers for me now, nobody else's job to figure out

Why i'm scared to open up my mouth, why there's so many things i can't allow

Probably easier just to eat at home

Better i should wait until i'm all alone

Then i stuff myself until i explode

Cream of my compulsion risiing to the tip of the spout

Screaming and convulsing, now i'm gonna spit it out

An amorphous monster makes his home inside my house

Even now, stretched out on the couch

Waiting for the midnight hour until he gets loud

Yes, my body is some prison--why else keep it filled with poison?

No reason to celebrate, forget the milkshakes, mom--it will take

More than a spoonful of sugar for me to swallow my pride this time

I decide what goes inside, i decide what goes inside my body

One more time, i decide, i decide what goes inside, i decide what goes inside my body

My eating disorder--it's inside me

Spit it out