Rearview Memories

[Bree]

God I know you hear us when we cry

God I know you're always here to listen, even as we said goodbye

But God I didn't say goodbye, at least, not the way I wanted to

My heart, torn out, twisted up, heavy, tired but I wanted to tell him goodbye

But God, not the way some people do

This is a goodbye

If I could just see through

I know he's there with you

And now here's my question

God, could you tell him that I love him?

Could you tell him that I miss him?

Could you tell him my confession?

Tell him that I'm sorry that I didn't understand his depression

That I allowed so much aggression to build up

Could you tell him how badly I wish I took the time to tell him myself?

Precious child, don't you know you're the apple of his eye?

Yes God, he told you that but I never really listened

Dear girl, don't you know he's never blamed you, he knew you tried

But God I didn't try, I should have tried but I let myself grow bitter and it only lead to division

My daughter, don't you know you're forgiven?

God, could you tell him that I love him?

Could you tell him that I miss him?

Could you tell him my confession

Tell him that I'm sorry that I didn't understand his depression

That I allowed so much aggression to build up inside

Pretty pretty princess, don't you know you're the apple of my eye

Yes daddy, you told me that but I never really listened

Sweatpea, don't you know I never blamed you I knew you tried

But dad I didn't try I should have tried but I let myself grow bitter and it only lead to our division

Little girl, don't you know I prayed for you, I wanted you, you're forgiven

God, could you tell him that I love him?

Could you tell him that I miss him?

God, could you tell him I forgive him?

[Gage]

You missed the cleansing

You missed the wedding

You missed out on so much more than me

In December I watched your daughter grow bitter

Then January came she took off her crown

I watched it shatter when it hit the ground

Hey Bree, it's ok

You can fall apart everyday

Hey Bree, it's ok

You can fall apart everyday

And I'll pick up the pieces when I can

I'll stand you on your feet

Like Levi did for me

We are all going through the seasons

Everyone falls apart

Everybody has to get a new start some times

[Levi]

Dear dad, I sleep next to a woman now

She knows you better than she did when you were alive

So be confident that you sowed seed in good soil

And your legacy will watch the fruit grow

When I touch her skin, I can't help but remember the way you affirmed my mother

So be confident that we loved you with equal affecction even though you never believed it was true

I've got heaven and hell on my mind all the time

I've got questions I never had before

I wanna know where it is, where you are

And when you talk to God, do you sit at his table and tell him stories about the day I was born

And does He laugh with you like it's all a surprise to Him

I've got a couple of nephews now

Preston just had his firstborn

I pictured you holding me when I watched him hold his daughter

The shocked stare in his eyes swept over me like ocean waves

And I knew that there is a kind of love that still exists completely foreign to me

I can't stop thinking about it

So when you tip-toed out of the house before that quiet dawn

Was it the love of a man that knew a woman and held his childen at birth that turned the ignition

That kept your eyes from the rearview as you drove away from the house you made?

Greater love knows none than this

[Gage]

What did you see? What did you see?

I got to know, I got to know!

Was it little Levi peddling down Date Street?

Were you sitting next to your wife with open eyes staring into hers?

Was she telling you "I love you, please don't go."

Were you walking Bree down the aisle to a better man?

I can't stand it, I can't stand it

Was the Devil in the bathroom with you?

Were his hands on the razor?

Was he drawing on your wrists, was he drawing on your wrists?

Did you see God, Did you see God?

I want to know, I want to know

I want to know where your soul is

What was it like when you took flight?

[Levi]

Dear dad, I don't hate you

I think there was selflessness in your selfishness and after seeing Preston's kid I don't even know if I think it was selfish at all

Maybe you'll correct my theology when we laugh with God together

I'm gonna think of you when I hold my son

I'll do my best to watch after your wife and your daughter

And in the end, I'm glad that your Dad got to clean up your arms and wipe your tears away