The Finale

Drumgoole, my dear, I must admit

Your life's been one long pile of shit

I must be nuts, at least a bit

To want to be involved in it

But given the alternative

Who knows how we'd be forced to live?

When worlds collide, when worlds collide?

With you, Drumgoole, at my side

And at my side!

And at my side!

With worlds colliding in on us

Drumgoole must be trigamous

Pray, say we shall be man and bride

And man and bride and man and bride!

When worlds collide, the chivalrous

Drumgoole performs the frivolous

And dares to make it man and bride

And man and bride and man and bride!

That one's mine, he's my concubine

He'll get more out of me

Than what you peons call "love"

Hands off him, that one's mine!

Your favors do not satisfy

I've witnesses who'll testify

And though Drumgoole is thin of thigh

She's worth a try, she's worth a try

Though nature was not generous

Her breasts are not as pendulous

Yet still they would be man and bride

And man and bride and man and bride!

Now according to the law this week

Still evolving even as we speak

Any woman may, at her discretion

Have her pick of losers

Since the breed has dropped so in quality

We abolish, hereby, monagomy

If you don't quite fancy this selection

We've got lots more losers

I've seen all that I need to see

I've fallen for their flattery

And so we shall be man and bride

And man and bride and man and bride!

When world's collide, the rest of us

Won't be here with the best of us

For these, they shall be man and bride

And man and bride and man and bride!

Correct me, honey

I smell no money

And when the chips are down

You'll be back around this finger here

I never said that I was in love with you

I never said that I was not, my dear

Why must this girl have everything?

How quickly he forgets the sting

For though she feigns to please him

She is talentless except to tease him

Don't think we haven't noticed

We'll have a shower

And I'll allow her

She seems amused with you

It's so hard to keep her entertained

We'll all go "nudies"

And you can bring your friends

Just keep the one who's nuts for tits restrained!

My long term memory

Is not what it should be

Some tiny spark of love

Helps me find the proper words to say

Your smell of money

You filthy, lying bitch

Is just about to make me puke!

Go away

Please go away!

It's time to make us man and bride

And man and bride and man and bride!

We've simplified, no muss, no fuss

And vows are now superfluous

I just declare you man and bride

And man and bride and man and bride!

Wait a minute! Wait a minute!

Georgianna, get over here with that law book

Listen up everybody

I've the law book right in front of me

Article sixteen dash thirty-three

"When consenting adults shack together

They're connected legally"

Though he wants to eat and have his cake

There's a pact with me he cannot break

So the rest of you go rot forever

This one will stay here with me

When worlds collide, the devious

The cunning, and the mischevious

Our not-yet-happy-home divide

When worlds collide, when worlds collide

When worlds collide, this friend of us

Is forced to be a succubus

Cruel fate is not upon our side

When worlds collide, when worlds collide

Connie! Connie!

This urgent telegram is just in from Parliament

Well don't just stand there, let's gloat over it

Aw oh, I don't think you're going to like this

"Must clear the old regime' away

The residue must be destroyed

As of 9:00 o'clock today

Contracts with men are null and void"

What!

You're free, my boy, I'm proud to say

And so without further delay

I now declare you man and bride

And man and bride and man and bride!

When worlds collide, the least of us

May get to share the feast with us

For now we four are man and bride

'Til worlds collide, 'til worlds collide

We're men and bride!