I Can Drink Any Woman Pretty

She was the worst looking woman to ever grace this county

And I was the lonliest man in the whole damn world

But I had me a fool-proof plan

That I learned from my old man

I knew right soon she'd be my kind of girl

I admit at first I didn't even want that woman near me

She looked like she'd been beaten up with a rake

But as I gulped down another round

I said Hey, woman, hang around

You're gettin better looking with every drink I take

Cause I can drink any woman pretty

Just give me a bottle and a little time

She may look like an ugly old heffer right now

But one more round and that woman's gonna look just fine

She was worse than Oprah Winfrey when I first me her

She had floppy ears and a big old busted nose

It was kinda hard to ignore that woman's crooked and yellow teeth

And them slobby old smelly mismatched dime-store clothes

But Johnnie Walker spiced up her wardrobe

And Mervyn's straightened out that busted nose

A couple of vodka shots added a little bit of dental work

Next thing you know I'm sitting next to Marilyn Monroe

Cause I can drink any woman pretty

Just give me a bottle and a little time

She may look like an ugly old heffer right now

But one more round and that woman's gonna look just fine

She may look like an ugly old heffer right now

But one more round and that woman's gonna look just fine