Lobachevsky

Who made me the genius I am today,

The mathematician that others all quote,

Who's the professor that made me that way?

The greatest that ever got chalk on his coat.

One man deserves the credit,

One man deserves the blame,

And Nicolai Ivanovich Lobachevsky is his name.

Hi!

Nicolai Ivanovich Lobach-

I am never forget the day I first meet the great Lobachevsky.

In one word he told me secret of success in mathematics:

Plagiarize!

Plagiarize,

Let no one else's work evade your eyes,

Remember why the good Lord made your eyes,

So don't shade your eyes,

But plagiarize, plagiarize, plagiarize -

Only be sure always to call it please 'research'.

And ever since I meet this man

My life is not the same,

And Nicolai Ivanovich Lobachevsky is his name.

Hi!

Nicolai Ivanovich Lobach-

I am never forget the day I am given first original paper

to write. It was on analytic and algebraic topology of

locally Euclidean parameterization of infinitely differentiable

Riemannian manifold.

Bozhe moi!

This I know from nothing.

But I think of great Lobachevsky and get idea - ahah!

I have a friend in Minsk,

Who has a friend in Pinsk,

Whose friend in Omsk

Has friend in Tomsk

With friend in Akmolinsk.

His friend in Alexandrovsk

Has friend in Petropavlovsk,

Whose friend somehow

Is solving now

The problem in Dnepropetrovsk.

And when his work is done -

Ha ha! - begins the fun.

From Dnepropetrovsk

To Petropavlovsk,

By way of Iliysk,

And Novorossiysk,

To Alexandrovsk to Akmolinsk

To Tomsk to Omsk

To Pinsk to Minsk

To me the news will run,

Yes, to me the news will run!

And then I write

By morning, night,

And afternoon,

And pretty soon

My name in Dnepropetrovsk is cursed,

When he finds out I publish first!

And who made me a big success

And brought me wealth and fame?

Nicolai Ivanovich Lobachevsky is his name.

Hi!

Nicolai Ivanovich Lobach -

I am never forget the day my first book is published.

Every chapter I stole from somewhere else.

Index I copy from old Vladivostok telephone directory.

This book was sensational!

Pravda - well, Pravda - Pravda said: (Russian double-talk)

It stinks.

But Izvestia! Izvestia said: (Russian double-talk)

It stinks.

Metro-Goldwyn-Moskva buys movie rights for six million rubles,

Changing title to 'The Eternal Triangle',

With Brigitte Bardot playing part of hypotenuse.

And who deserves the credit?

And who deserves the blame?

Nicolai Ivanovich Lobachevsky is his name.

Hi!