Adventures Of Linda Bohannon

In a town about the size of a truckstop or bigger

Lived Linda Bohannon, a natural queen

She lived with her folks in a little white farmhouse

She helped out by hoeing the corn and the beans

Sometimes whe would stare at herself in a mirror

And any would say there was much to admire

Every turn of the curve of her body was flawless

From pretty white teeth to her shiny blond hair

One day as she stood by the road leading westward

In blue jeans and t-shirt and mail-order boots

The tractors and trailers and pick-ups saw Linda

The drivers all slowed down to holler and hoot

They received not a smile from miss Linda Bohannon

No bag and no brush did she hold in her hand

Just Linda Bohannon, a physical treasure

Stepped into a light-blue Mercedes Benz

**And this is one of those times that we wish we knew the missing parts to these stories, but this is all we know**

She was missing a week and her parents were worried

She called Sunday morning and said, "I'm okay"

**Well Bohannons don't talk much, but we found out later**

She called from a movie star's house in L.A.

She's home now and been here for six years or seven

She brought home a baby, a fine-looking lad

**Well Bohannons don't talk much, and Linda don't either**

And nobody told us a thing about his dad

Well she's pretty as ever and she works in a giftshop

Looks after her boy and she don't ask for help

She watches the re-runs of an old TV western

And the boy looks a lot like a re-run himself.