Everything From Jesus To Jack Daniels

You wake up in the morning drink a beer and take a Valium

And you're trying to forget about the things you did last night

Flip through the morning paper read the horoscope and the comics

You're as well informed as anybody on the left or the right

You make it to your job and hear Atlanta lost another

How can you lose while making half a million bucks or near

The old man who sweeps the floor and wears a big blue Reagan button

Says the Russians are a coming but they've been here for years

Tryin' everything from Jesus to Jack Daniels

It's the all new American diet

Tryin' everything from Jesus to Jack Daniels

You get on it and you're on it for the rest of your life

There's a story in the paper about a man who killed his family

He jumped off a bridge because he couldn't take it anymore

Down at the local tavern a young man comes in limpin'

And he claims that he's a veteran of the Falkland Islands war

You head home and you're accosted by a youngster wearin' robes

And wanting money for his God who sits upon a plastic throne

You ignore him if you can and make it to the local tavern

Where you order up a drink and give some money to your own

Tryin' everything from Jesus...

There's a man in Tennessee who's got it figured out completely

I guess that he's as happy as a thinking man can be

I asked him what he thought and he said brother let me tell you

Try a little bit of both and leave out everything in between

Tryin' everything from Jesus...