Ramona's Revenge

Ramona lived just down the hill from us

She kept the house her mama drove the bus

(An old yellow school bus)

Ramona had a handicap the neighborhood knew well

Ramona couldn't speak or couldn't spell

(Which put Ramona at a considerable disadvantage among the more fluent.)

Although she couldn't write and couldn't talk

Ramona really had a pretty walk

(A four letter figure)

Because she couldn't write or speak nobody asked her out

But Bad-Eyed Thompson hung around the house

(He was what you might say a familiar figure in the neighborhood.)

I guess their handicaps were common ground

For Bad-Eyed Thompson always hung around

He could squint that eye and spit tobacco thirty feet

Ramona always grinned and stomped her feet

(Because Ramona considered that to be one of the better local acts.)

One day Ramona found herself with child

She couldn't speak her mom was goin' wild

Confusion reigned for half a day as one could understand

The county judge came down to take a hand

(And I think it should be noted here in the interest of justice

That the judge was acting a strictly unofficial capacity.)

The neighbors gathered round Ramona's porch

The judge said understand this is not a court

Ramona stood as all the breathless neighbors gathered round

Then she closed one eye and (pttt) spat upon the ground

(And it's a familiar old saying that birds of a feather

Will flock together and justice will be done...)