Johnny Mceldoo

There was Johnny McEldoo and McGee and me

And a couple of two or three went on the spree one day

We had a bob or two, which we knew how to blew

And the beer and whiskey flew and we all felt gay

We visited McCann's, Maclaman's, Humpty Dan's

We then went into Swan's, our stomachs for to pack

We ordered out a feed, which indeed, we did need

And we finished it with speed, but we still felt slack

Johnny McEldoo turned red, white and blue

As a plate of irish stew he soon put out of sight

He shouted out 'Encore!' with a roar for some more

That he'd never felt before such a keen appetite

We ordered eggs and ham, bread and jam, what a cram

But him, we couldn't ram, though we tried our level best

For everthing we brought, cold or hot, mattered not

It went down him like a shot and he still stood the test

He swallowed tripe and lard by the yard, we got scarred

We thought it would go hard when the waiter brought the bill

We told him to give o'er, but he swore he could lower

Twice as much again and more before he had his fill

He nearly supped a trough full of broth says McGragh

'He'll devour the tablecloth if you don't hold him in'

When the waiter brought the charge, McEldoo felt so large

He began to shout and barge and his blood went on fire

He began to curse and swear, tear his hair in despair

To finish the affair, called the shop man a liar

The shop man, he through out and no doubt, he did clout

McEldoo he kicked about like an old football

Tattered all his clothes, broke his nose, I suppose

He would have killed him with a few blows in no time at all

Mceldoo began to howl and to growl, by my soul

Through an empty bowl at the shop keepers head

It struck poor Mickey Flynn, took the skin from his chin

An eruction did begin and we all fought and bled

The peelers did arrive, man alive, four or five

At us they made a dive for us all to march away

We paid for all the mate that we ate, stood a trait

And went home to ruminate on the spree that day