Sirius Black Rap

(Malfoy)

Oh my Lord, Crabbe, Goyle, will you look at that Potter.

He thinks he's so great just because the Dark Lord gave

him a cut on his head twelve years ago.

But, you know, who deserves to understand the Dark Lord anyway?

He only talked to Potter through that book because he wanted to take care of unfinished business, okay?

I mean, Potter's friends are just so revolting,

I can't believe he hangs out with that mudblood girl,

and that Weasley,

and his hair - it's so, black!

(Potter)

It's my third year and I cannot lie

You other wizards can't deny

After I broke free from the Dursleys' barge

Having blown up my Aunt Marge

I escaped with my hair all mussed

Got aboard the old Knight Bus

Its speed is so exciting

You'd think Keanu was driving

The minister said, "No problem"

In the Leaky Cauldron

I thought that I'd be finished

Faster than you could say ("Qui-Qui-Quidditch")

Diagon Alley with Ron and Hermione

That book of monsters

Bite my hand off it wants ta!

Crookshanks is after Ron's pet rat Scabbers

That cat, that rat, in a Tom and Jerry spat

I heard some dreadful news

There's a madman on the loose

He killed twelve muggles with just one spell

And now he's mad as hell

So Ron ("Yeah?") Ron ("Yeah?")

Who's the world's most wanted man? ("Dunno")

That prisoner ("Prisoner?") Prisoner ("Prisoner")

Who escaped from Azkaban

Sirius Black

(Toad chorus:)

Double double toil and trouble

Fire burn and cauldron bubble

Double double toil and trouble

Something wicked this way comes

(Harry "Sirius Black")

Double double toil and trouble

Fire burn and cauldron bubble

Double double toil and trouble

Something wicked this way comes

(Potter)

Dementors on the train drive me insane

I just can't help myself, I'm cold and I've fainted

My brain is tainted

With memories of ("AAAAA!") VOLDEMORT ("AAAAAAA!")

I'm not talking bout Malfoy

His dad's just one of Voldy's toys

Professor Trelawny's a Seer

But if you ask me her lesson's just a bunch of guessin

She tells me I'll die any second

So I'm in class with Remus

Boggart's gone with "Riddikulus!"

If I study bonus I'll produce a full Patronus

They took away the broom I got for Christmas

Want to check it for jinxes

Can't even go to Hogsmeade unless I've got the Marauder's Map

Malfoy's full of crap, and I want to go after Black

They say he'll kill at will

But I'd rather fry the guy

'Cause he's bad, and he's mad

He betrayed my mom and dad!

So Hermione ("What?") Hermione ("What?")

I'd rather find him than have him find me ("Harry...")

He's one bad mugglef- ("Shut your mouth!")

Even Malfoy's got to shout

Malfoy: Sirius Black, you know Potter, when it comes to the dark arts

that Sirius guy's got nothing on my extended family.

Harry: Shut up, Malfoy, this is my rap!

Malfoy: Scared, Potter?

Harry: You wish

Malfoy: Come on, give up the mike!

Harry: I said no.

Malfoy: Professor! Potter's not lettin' me represent for the Dark side!

Snape: Potter, let Malfoy kick it old school or it's detention!

Malfoy: I've got a weak arm you know

Harry: Alright fine, here it is!

Malfoy: Heh, this one's for all the Slytherins, wee-yotch.

So you think you can curse or damn me

Or say my acting's hammy

But if you want me to care then understand me:

My pureblood family

Don't want buds unless they're not mudbloods!

When they intermarry with muggles

It just makes me sick to my gut

I bought my way into Quidditch

You can do that when your father's rich

It's power I desire - you don't see me sing in no choirs!

When an animal bites my arm

I can do it far more harm

'Cause my dad can claim that it maimed the students

And then execute it

Some wizards want to go to Gryffindor

But me I want a little bit more

Than the small, meek and measley

Like the bottom-feeders Weasley

They love non-magic folk

Is it any wonder they're broke?

Now this Sirius guy has come kickin'

And I understand if you're chicken

But Potter if it were me, I'd want revenge you see

I'd curse his ass and send him back

Into the Shrieking Shack, Sirius Black!

(Toad chorus)

Double double toil and trouble

Fire burn and cauldron bubble

Double double toil and trouble

Fire burn and cauldron bubble

Double double toil and trouble

Fire burn and cauldron bubble

Double double toil and trouble

Fire burn and cauldron...

Something wicked this way comes

Something wicked this way comes

Something wicked this way comes

Something wicked this way comes

(Potter)

Why would I go looking for someone who wants to kill me?