50 Ways To Say Goodbye

My heart is paralyzed

My head was oversized

I’ll take the high road like I should!

You said it’s meant to be,

That it’s not you, it’s me

You’re leaving now for my own good,

That’s cool, but if my friends ask where you are

I’m gonna say

She went down in an airplane

Fried getting sun-tanned

Fell in a cement mixer full of quicksand

Help me, help me, I’m no good at goodbyes!

She met a shark on the water

Fell and no one caught her

I returned everything I ever bought her

Help me, help me, I’m all out of lies

And ways to say you died!

My pride still feels the sting

You were my everything

Someday I’ll find a love like yours (a love like yours)

She’ll think I’m super man

Not super minivan

How could you leave on Yom Kippur

That’s cool, but if my friends ask where you are

I’m gonna say:

She was caught in a mudslide

Eaten by a lion

Got run over by a crappy purple scion

Help me, help me, I’m no good at goodbyes

She dried up in the desert,

Drowned in a hot tub.

Danced to death in a east side nightclub

Help me, help me, I’m all out of lies

And ways to say you died!

I wanna live a thousand lives with you

I wanna be the one you’re dying to love

But you don’t want to

That’s cool, but if my friends ask where you are

I’m gonna say

That’s cool, but if my friends ask where you are

I’m gonna say

She went down in an airplane

Fried getting sun-tanned

Fell in a cement mixer full of quicksand

Help me, help me, I’m no good at goodbyes!

She met a shark on the water

Fell and no one caught her

I returned everything I ever bought her

Help me, help me, I’m all out of lies

She was caught in a mudslide

Eaten by a lion

Got run over by a crappy purple scion

Help me, help me, I’m no good at goodbyes

She dried up in the desert,

Drowned in a hot tub,

Danced to death in an east side nightclub

Help me, help me, I’m all out of lies

And ways to say you died!