Christmas In The Casino

egg nog spreads joy around,

elves telling me to 'double down'

most holidays, i'll just mope,

instead of losing money on a river boat

let it snow let it snow let it ride,

watered down screwdriver cost me $5

lost my shirt at the reindeer track,

if i keep betting i might win it back

CHORUS

santa's going ho-ho-ho,

keno under mistletoe

from the north pole to reno,

it's christmas in the casino

twas the night before christmas and all through the house

pathetic losers were getting soused

i down by un-told sums,

kris kringle wants to take my thumbs

donner and blitzen are by my side,

the dice are loaded and so am i

winning straight is just too hard,

i've got the rainman counting cards.

jingle slots -- chestnuts hot -- jingle slots

silent night, holy night

spinning wheels, neon lights

round yon pit boss, Siegfried and Roy

as i sign over the deed to the island of misfit toys

for rolling another snake eyes,

rolling another snake eyes

left milk and cookies by the roulette wheel

i'm headed out to the blood mobile

i want to spend the holidays at home

instead

i'm gonna die alone

(then all the reindeer loved him)