Father

Can you remember

How you use to jab your fingers into my chest

And tell me how stupid you thought I was

And how I'd grow up to be worthless?

I was only 9 and I can recall every single time-

You raised your hand to me

No matter how hard I try to forget

I can't erase it from my memory

To this day you seem to think that

You never did anything wrong

And even though I've tried to look past your

Ignorance

The hate was too strong

And you were to blind to see how much anger

Was growing inside of me

And everything revolved around you

Do what you say

Do what you want

Do as you do

As the years passed

I never knew what was to come

Cause you were never there

But the day will come

When we'll cross paths

This time I'll be there to let you know that

All I ever wanted was was for you to believe in me

And everyday I prayed for, lived the day for

Was a chance to throw it back in your face?

And before you die, open your eyes

And see, all the different ways that you neglected me

You may have gave me life but you never gave me hope

I don't ever want to take after my own Father

God help me raise up outta this mess

Stress and grey days and a gang full of tests

God help me, god help me

You put the fear in me and said

if I wasn't to be everything you expected then a son I'm not in your eye's

and would be instantly rejected-

Your gifts of love were just fifths of pain

While I tried to maintain and refrain

You just laughed at me, you looked down on me, you threw down on me,

You made me feel worthless now you're dead to me, how does it feel to be,

What runs through you created me, one day I'll break free-

All I ever wanted was for you to believe in me

And everyday I prayed for, lived the day for

Was a chance to throw it back in your face

Why do I have to feel like I'm constantly worthless

Every day I'm reminded of you, Father