There's Alot Going On

Yeah, this just my life

Front to back, top to bottom

Everything's changing around me

These days don't feel the same

We all lost faith and lost family

Why must we play this game?

Lord have mercy on me

I've been a sinning man

Pull out my wings, jump off the bridge

And crash in a plane, if I never land

Know I never die

We live forever in my mind

And I sanctify

We live forever, still alive

There's a lot going on, but I stick to the ones I love

I never claimed to be a perfect man, but name a great man who was

Consequences of my actions in the past years had me stressing out

It was like, May, I just moved to LA, I was tryna figure it out

Medication for depression that I cut cold turkey, had the kid manic

In an episode out in Hollywood, wilding out like Nick Cannon

Railing Adderall pills out a dollar bill, on the bathroom floor

Clean the whole mess up with my nose

What the fuck I need a vacuum for?

New York City on my birthday, June 6th, 2014

I had that first meeting with Hov, plus, I brought out the whole team

I drank that whole bottle of D'usse Ty Ty gave me that night

When we left the club at the rap Genius house

Me and shawty got into a fight

She came out the room swinging, hit me in the jaw

I was really tryna fend her off

But I ended up in the closet with my hands around her neck

I was tripping, dawg

Too proud to apologize or empathize, I blamed it all on her

Saying that she hit me first, even though she was the one hurt

I was really just reflecting all the hurt

That I was feeling from the band's rejection

When Kids These Days split, that shit felt like a C-section

And my infidelity and jealousy with Natalie

On top of the amphetamines and the ecstasy

Had me tryna drown face-down in the Chesapeake

The next month I dropped Down on My Luck and had Europe going nuts

But I couldn't even appreciate it at the time

I was going through too much

Now I had to leverage million dollar label deals on the table for my records

In Ibiza eating paella on the roof, tryna choose over breakfast

Hov wasn't with the bidding war, but I knew the Roc just felt right

When I saw Kanye at Wireless, without T-Pain, still a good life

Felt so close when Mr Hudson introduced me to him backstage

He prolly don't even remember that shit, like a bitch off Backpage

But at that stage, I was ready to swing for the fence like a batting cage

At the same time, I was winding down a low point in my addict phase

The Adderall started wearing off

And I went into a deep writer's block

All over a song that I couldn't finish

That I wrote about signin' to the Roc

Isn't that ironic? I was feeling so psychotic

With the whole world excited for me and my idol saying I got it

Shit got bad out in L. A., so I moved back home to my mom's basement

Linked up with Smoko and Papi Beatz and took it back to basics

Then I wrote Rage, that was me screaming out through the pain

And U Mad, addressing my relationship with Natalie, it was too bad

The violence and the lies slipped suicide into my mental health

I did acid in the studio one day and almost killed myself

As I started to fall apart, certain stars started to align

Om'Mas came to Chicago in January at the perfect time

He said Kanye was working on an album

And Uzi played him one of our songs

He was tryna fly me out, nigga

It was goin' down like the Dow Jones

Pulled up to Westlake, first day I was there, I recorded Wolves

I knew I was the one, like Neo meeting with the Oracle

But I had to get a handle 'fore the door was pulled

Crawled out on SNL

All the niggas hating on me back home lookin' at me like, FML

A lot of people coming out the wood like: Let's work, tryna network

All the pressure making my head hurt

The molly wouldn't let the meds work

At this time it's like Feb. 1st to the 15th, and I'm still addicted

Frustrated, writing shit for Ye, tryna visualize someone else's vision

Then he laid that verse on U Mad and we made the shit the single

Ye and Hov getting into it over me, tryna do a joint venture

And GOOD Music still fam

But it's that Roc Boy SAVEMONEY life

Took the bus out on the road for the Traffic tour, did a hundred nights

Cleaned out my closet, I got rid of all of my demons

If you learn one thing from my journey, nigga, it's don't stop believing

When this shit got so suffocating, I could barely even keep breathing

Wrote my wrongs all in this song, now, I'd like to welcome y'all to my season

Nigga, I'm gone

Know I never die

We live forever in my mind

And I sanctify

We live forever, still alive