The End Of The Line

[JENNY]

I'm Jenny

[SARA]

I'm Sara

[JENNY]

She's Sara

[SARA]

She's Jen

[BOTH]

Been best friends forever

[JENNY]

Well, since we were ten

[BOTH]

Met at ballet class

And ever since then

We became inseparable

[JENNY]

The damage was irreparable

[SARA]

Jen's like my sister

[JENNY]

And Sara's like mine

[BOTH]

Friends till the end of the line

Had nothing much in common

[SARA]

Loved horses

[JENNY]

Loved shoes

[BOTH]

But we were attached at the hip

[SARA]

Jen was like a goddess

My mentor and muse

[JENNY]

She was a nerd and a drip

[BOTH]

But we would be together every hour of the day

People would see us and say:

It's Jenny, and Sara

Two peas in a pod

[SARA]

Well, if one pea was perfect

[JENNY]

And one pea was odd

First string-

[SARA]

And spare!

[BOTH]

On the volleyball squad

[JENNY]

Happy and gregarious

[SARA]

My thrills were just vicarious

[JENNY coughs]

[SARA, SPOKEN]

Woo

[JENNY]

She'd point the spotlight

[SARA]

She'd bask in the shine

[BOTH]

Friends till the end of the line

[JENNY]

My skin was just like porcelain

Hers was all zits

[SARA]

My pores were perpetually blocked

[JENNY]

I developed early

She had no tits

[SARA]

My cupboard was woefully stocked

[JENNY]

Why would I be seen

With such a social refugee?

[SARA]

'Cause you always looked good next to me!

[JENNY, SPOKEN]

That's right!

[BOTH, SUNG]

So we were Jenny, and Sarah

A vulgar display

[SARA]

The queen of the prom

[JENNY]

And her weird protege

I starred-

[SARA]

I ran lights-

[BOTH]

In the school cabaret

[JENNY]

I mean, have you heard Sarah sing?

Good golly, it's embarrassing

[SARA sings a feeble note]

[BOTH]

We were contrary forces

Who somehow combine

Friends till the end of the line

[SARA]

Then something crazy happened

Right after twelfth grade

That summer I blossomed and bloomed

I stepped into the sunlight

After years in the shade

And a beautiful swan was exhumed

[JENNY]

Meanwhile, I was working

At the local Dairy Queen

And ballooned up to plus-size sixteen

[SARA, SPOKEN]

Uh-Jenny

[JENNY]

Eighteen

It's just so delicious

[SARA]

We both showed up to college

And, no need to pretend

I was popular right off the bat

And everyone was asking:

Sarah, who is your friend?

The one who's so-

[JENNY, SPOKEN]

Interesting?

[SARA, SPOKEN]

Fat

(SUNG)

All this malice aimed at Jenny

Was quite startling and new

So I did what all best friends would do

I said, I'm Sara

She's Jenny

We used to be close

Now she's desperate, and clingy

And sort of morose

I heard she gobbles

Peanut Buster parfaits by the gross

In all the world is there a sight

More tragic than this parasite?

[BOTH]

So that is our story

And ain't it divine!

Friends till the end of the-

[JENNY]

The cold bitter end

[SARA]

I guess

[BOTH]

This is the end of the line