Dark Static Moments

I feel like I've Been Going

nowhere in my life for years

All these empty promises

empty threats.

it was such a dark static moment when we met.

nothing felt right, maybe thats why

I went so far, too far,

beyond sorrow, pain or lust.

the empty silences in our forced conversation

trying to be what I cannot be

I never felt so alone in my entire life

so alone and desperate to be somewhere else

what in this world can change me?

what in this world can rouse me

form my sleep

my eyes may be open but I see nothing

my mouth may be open but it is not words I am forming

not in any language

you can undestand

I hear what you are saying

but it makes no sense to me, it never did

how did I come to this?

When did I start, dead to the world

the word is black and white in my soundless dreams

there is nothing I can do so carve me up one last time

and leave me for the dogs

I have no pity for these grey lines

no remorse and no pity

that carve me up and sell my soul

what is worth? is it worth your love or your compassion?

I think you know the answer

every time I dream

I seem to leave it all standing at some deserted train station

waiting, watching

with and old timetable in my hand

willing another cold morning

in another city

or another sunset surrounded by strangers waiting, watching

I need somewhere to rest my head.