The Man Upstairs

The guy upstairs is such a freak

For five years now I've had a leak

What does he do up there?

All day long he sleeps all day

Then he goes out and comes home

In the most intoxicated way

As far as I can tell, he juggles bowling balls

But he's not good at it

He moves his furniture then at six am

He pulls out the vacuum cleaner

To suck his room

The guy downstairs is also crazy

He spent some time in an institute

It did him not much good

He's off his medication

And he starts screaming

Virgin Mary, you fucking alien!

According to him Jesus Christ smokes crack

And other sundry things

But it's the man upstairs who pulls the strings

Won't let me sleep

Please, kill that man upstairs

If you ever loved me, you'll do this one thing

Won't you sweetheart?

Please murder that man upstairs

If you want to be my friend

You'll have to prove you mean it

I used to think that rent control was a good idea

Until I moved here. Now I'm the only sucker

Paying more than a humdred bucks a room

And I'm surrounded by lunatics who don't

Even need a Moon

But it's the man upstairs who pulls the strings

Won't let me sleep

Please, kill that man upstairs

If you ever loved me, you'll do this one thing

Won't you sweetheart?

Please murder that fuck upstairs

If you want to be my friend

You'll have to prove you mean it

Then there's the lady across the hall

Who always knows what's going on

And Machu Pichu down the stairs

Who is selling crack from door to door

14B are refuges and 14A transvestite whores

But you know who is coming home

He's falling up his drunken stairs

Please, kill that man upstairs

If you ever loved me, you'll do this one thing

Won't you sweetheart?

Please murder that fuck upstairs

If you want to be my friend

You'll help me get a good night sleep