The USS Make Shit Up

I was stranded on a planet, Just me and Spock

Ee met a nasty nazi alien who locked our asses up

We found a hunk of crystal and a metal piece of bed

We made a laser phaser gun and shot him in the head

Bust a move, Tog

I was standing on the bridge when Sulu came to me

His eyes were full of tears he said "Captain, can't you see

the ship is gonna blow do something I beseech"

I grabbed a tribble and some chewing gum and stopped the warp core breach

And I say,

Bounce a graviton particle beam off the main deflector dish

Thats the way we do things, lad, we're making shit up as we wish

The Klingons and the Romulans pose no threat to us

'Cause if we find we're in a bind we just make some shit up

And though he's just a child, and some think him a twit

Wesley is the master when it comes to making up some shit

He's the guy you want with you when you go out in space

Now if only he could beam those pimples off his face

And if you're at a party on the starship Enterprise

And the karaoke player just plain old up and dies

Set up a neutrino field inside a can of peas

Hold on to Geordi's visor and sing into Data's knee

And I say

Bounce a graviton particle beam off the main deflector dish

Thats the way we do things lad, we're making shit up as we wish

The Klingons and the Romulans pose no threat to us

'Cause if we find we're in a bind we just make some shit up

Sisko's on a mission to go no bloody place

He loiters on a space station above Bajoran space

The wormhole's opened up and now they come from near and far

We'll keep the booze but please send back the fucking Jem-hadar

What is with the Klingons, remember in the day

They looked like Puerto Ricans and they dressed in gold lame

Now they look like heavy metal rockers from the dead

With leather pants and frizzy hair and lobsters on their heads

And I say

Bounce a graviton particle beam off the main deflector dish

Thats the way we do things lad, we're making shit up as we wish

The Klingons and the Romulans pose no threat to us

'Cause if we find we're in a bind we just make some shit up

Well, I was stuck on Voyager, pounding on the door

When suddently it dawned on me I've seen this show before

Perhaps I'm in a warp bubble and slightly out of phase

'Cause it was way back in the sixties when they called it "Lost in Space"

We were looking for a way to make the ratings soar

So we orchestrated an encounter with the Borg

Normally you'd think that that would get us into shit

But this one has a smashing ass and a lovely set of tits

And I say

Bounce a graviton particle beam off the main deflector dish

Thats the way we do things lad, we're making shit up as we wish

The Klingons and the Romulans pose no threat to us

'Cause if we find we're in a bind we're totally screwed but nevermind

We'll pull something out of our behinds, we just make some shit up