Bein' a Dad

Bein' a dad isn't so bad

Except that you gotta feed 'em

You gotta shoe 'em and clothe 'em

And try not to loathe 'em

Bug 'em and hug 'em and heed 'em

Bein' a dad can sure make you mad

Man it even can drive you crazy

It's as hard as it looks

You gotta read them dumb books

And you end up despising Walt Disney

Bein' a dad starts to get radical

When they turn into teenagers

You gotta tighten the screws

Enforce the curfews

Confiscate weapons and pagers

But a daughter and son

Can be sort of fun

Just as long as they don't defy you

They'll treat you like a king

They'll believe anything

They're easy to frighten and lie to

Bein' a dad (bein' a dad)

Bein' a dad (bein' a dad)

Bein' a dad can make you feel glad

When you get paperweights and aftershave lotions

Yeah it feels pretty great when they graduate

That's when you're choked with emotions

But bein' a dad takes more than a tad of

Good luck and divine intervention

You need air-tight alibis

Fool proof disguises

Desperation's the father of invention

So sometimes you take off

For a few rounds of golf

And you stay away for half of their lifetimes

The result of it all is

You're captured and hauled up

Before a tribunal for dad crimes

Bein' a dad (bein' a dad)

Bein' a dad (bein' a dad)

Bein' a dad can make you feel sad

Like you're the insignificant other

Yeah right from the start

They break your heart

In the end every kid wants his mother

Bein' a dad (bein' a dad)