Growltiger's Last Stand

Growltiger was a bravo cat who travelled on a barge

In fact he was the roughest cat that ever roamed at large

From Gravesend up to Oxford he pursued his evil aims

Rejoicing in his title of the "Terror of the Thames"

His manners and appearance did not calculate to please

His coat was torn and seedy, it was baggy at the knees

One ear was somewhat missing, no need to tell you why

And he scowled upon a hostile world from one forbidding eye

The cottagers of Rotherhithe knew something of his fame

At Hammersmith and Putney, people shuddered at his name

They would fortify the hen house, lock up the silly goose

When the rumor ran along the shore: Growltiger's on the loose!

Woe to the weak canary that fluttered from its cage

Woe to the pampered Pekinese, that faced Growltiger's rage

Woe the bristly bandicoot that lurks on foreign ships

And woe to any cat with whom Growltiger came to grips

But most to cats of foreign race his hatred had been vowed

To cats of foreign name and race, no quarter was allowed

The Persian and the Siamese regarded him with fear

Because it was a Siamese had mauled his missing ear

Now on a peaceful summer night all nature seemed at play

The tender moon was shining bright, the barge at Molsey lay

All in the balmy moonlight it lay rocking on the tide

And Growltiger was disposed to show his sentimental side

In the forepeak of the vessel, Growltiger stood alone

Concentrating my attention on the lady Griddlebone

And my raffish crew were sleeping in their barrels and their bunks

As the Siamese came creeping in their sampans and their junks

Growltiger had no eye or ear for aught but Griddlebone

And the lady seemed enraptured by my manly baritone

Disposed to relaxation and awaiting no surprise

But the moonlight shone reflected from a thousand bright blue eyes

And closer still and closer the sampans circled 'round

And yet from all the enemy there was not heard a sound

The foe was armed with toasting forks and cruel carving knives

And the lovers sang their last duet in danger of their lives

In una tepida notte d'estate, allorche la natura

Era nel pieno fulgore, e la resca rugiada

Splendeva al chiar di luna sopra la verzura

Si poteva vedere il galeone ancorato

Oscillare in silenzio nel vento profumato

Dalla marea del naviglio serenamente cullato

In quella tepida notte che c'e dunque di male

Se in tnata poesia anche il pirata divento sentimentale?

Oscillare in silenzio nel vento profumato

Dalla marea do naviglio serenamente cullato

In quella tepida notte

In quella tepida notte

In quella tepida notte

Then Genghis gave the signal to his fierce Mongolian hordes

Abandoning their sampans, the chinks they swarmed aboard

Abandoning their sampans, their pullaways, their junks

They battened down the hatches on the crew within their bunks

Then Griddlebone she gave a screech for she was badly skeered

I am sorry to admit it, but she quickly disappeared

She probably escaped with ease I'm sure she was not drowned

But a serried ring of flashing steel Growltiger did surround

The ruthless foe presssed forward in stubborn rank on rank

Growltiger to his vast surprise was forced to walk the plank

He who a hundred victims had driven to that drop

At the end of all his crimes was forced to go kerflip, kerflop

Oh there was joy in Wapping when the news flew through the land

At Maidenhead and Henley there was dancing on the Strand

Rats were roasted whole in Brentford and Victoria Dock

And a day of celebration was commanded in Bangkok!

These modern productions are all very well

But there's nothing to equal from what I hear tell

That moment of mystery when I made history