Mungojerrie And Rumpelteazer

The greatest magicians have something to learn

From Mister Mistoffelees' Conjuring Turn

Mungojerrie and Rumpelteazer were a notorious couple of cats

As knockabout clowns, quick - change comedians

Tight - rope walkers and acrobats

They had an extensive reputation, made their home in Victoria Grove

That was merely their center of operation for they were incurably given to rove

If the area window was found ajar and the basement looked like a field of war

If a tile or two came loose on the roof which presently

ceased to be waterproof

If the drawers were pulled out from the bedroom chests

And you couldn't find one of your winter vests

Or after supper one of the girls suddenly missed her Woolworth pearls

Then the family would say, "It's that horrible cat!

It was Mungojerrie or Rumpelteazer!"

And most of the time they left it at that

Mungojerrie and Rumpelteazer had an unusual gift of the gab

They were highly efficient cat burglars as well and remarkably smart at a smash and grab

They made their home in Victoria Grove, they had no regular occupation

They were plausible fellows who liked to engage a friendly

policeman in conversation

When the family assembled for Sunday dinner

Their minds made up that they wouldn't get thinner on

Argentine joint, potatoes and greens

Then the cook would appear from behind the scenes

And say in a voice that was broken with sorrow

"I'm afraid you must wait and have dinner tomorrow

The joint has gone from the oven like that!"

Then the family would say, "It's that horrible cat!

It was Mungojerrie or Rumpelteazer!"

And most of the time they left it at that

Mungojerrie and Rumpelteazer had a wonderful way of working together

And some of the time you would say it was luck and some of the time you would say it was weather

They'd go through the house like a hurricane and no sober person could take his oath

Was it Mungojerrie or Rumpelteazer? Or could you have sworn that it might have been both?

When you heard a dining room smash or up from the pantry there came a loud crash

Or down from the library came a loud ping

From a vase which was commonly said to be Ming

Then the family would say: "Now which was which cat?

It was Mungojerrie and Rumpelteazer and there's nothing at all to be done about that"