Constipated

Uh, huh, extra cheese

Uh, huh, uh, huh, save a piece for me

Pizza party at your house

I went just to check it out

19 extra larges

What a shame, no one came

Just us, eatin' all alone

You said take the pizza home

No sense lettin' all this go to waste

So then I faced

Pizza all day, and everyday, there's cheese round the clock

It's gettin' me blocked, And I sure don't care for irregularity

Tell me

Why'd you have to go and make me so constipated?

Cos' right now I'd do anything to just get my bowels evacuated

In the bathroom.

I sit and I wait and I strain and I sweat and I clench and I

feel the pain

Oh, should've taken laxatives or had my colon irrigated.

No, no, no

I was feelin' pretty down

'Til my girlfriend came around

We're just so alike in every way, I gotta say

In fact, I just thought I might

pop the question there that night

I was kissing her so tenderly

But woe is me

Who would have guessed, her family crest

I suddenly spy, tattoo'd on her thigh

And son of a gun, it's just like the one on me

Tell me

How was I supposed to know we were both related?

Believe me, if I knew she was my cousin we never would have dated

What to do now?

Should I go ahead and propose and get hitched and have kids with

11 toes

And move to Alabama where that kind of thing is tolerated

No, no, no

(No, no, no)

Ooh, I had so much on my mind

I thought maybe I'd unwind

Try out that new roller coaster ride

And the guide

Said not to stand, but that's a demand

That I couldn't meet, I got on my feet

And stood up instead and knocked off my head you see

Tell me

Why'd I have to go and get myself decapitated?

This really is a major inconvenience, oh man I really hate it

It's such a drag now

I can't eat, I can't breathe, I can't snore, I can't belch or

yodel anymore

Can't spit or blow my nose or even read Sports Illustrated

Oh, no!

Why'd I have to go and get myself all mutilated?

I gotta tell ya, life without a head kinda makes me irritated

What a bummer

I can't blink, I can't cough, I can't sneeze

But my neck is enjoying a pleasant breeze now

Haven't been the same since my head and I were separated

No, no, no