Craigslists

Whoa, yeah!

You've got a 65 Chevy Malibu

With automatic drive, a custom paint job too

I'll trade you for my old wheelbarrow

And a slightly-used sombrero

And I'll even throw in a stapler, if you insist

Craigslist

I'm on Craigslist, baby, come on

Yeah

Well, we shared a quick glance Saturday at the mall

I never took a chance, never approached you at all

You were a blonde half-Asian with a bad case of gas

I was wearin' red Speedos and a hockey mask

Come on, let's find that love connection that we missed

On Craigslist

Yeah, Craigslist, come on

I'm on Craigslist, baby

Maybe you are too

Bee bomp a chonk a donk bim bang boo

An open letter to the snotty barista

At the Coffee Bean on San Vicente Boulevard:

I know there were 20 people behind me in line

But I was on a cell phone call with my mother

Didn't you see me hold up my index finger?

That means I'll order my soy decaf hazelnut latte in just a couple minutes

So what's with the attitude, lady?

No tip for you

Got a trash can of Styrofoam peanuts, you can have em for free

You can drop by on the weekend and pick em up from me

But the trash can ain't part of the deal

Only givin' you the peanuts, get real

Don't have no Hefty bags, so bring your own

Don't bug me with questions on the phone

Don't ask for help, don't waste my time

And don't complain, cause they won't cost you a dime

Just ask yourself

Do you want my Styrofoam peanuts?

You can have my Styrofoam peanuts

Do you want my Styrofoam peanuts?

You can have 'em all

They're on Craigslist, yeah

Craigslist, oh baby, come on

I'm on Craigslist, Craigslist, Craigslist

I'm on Craigslist, Craigslist, Craigslist now

Craigslist