Perform This Way

My mama told me when I was hatched

Act like a superstar

Save your allowance, buy a bubble dress

And someday you will go far

Now on red carpets, well, I'm hard to miss

The press follows everywhere I go

I'll poke your eye out with a dress like this

Back off and enjoy the show!

I'm sure my critics will say

It's a grotesque display

Well, they can bite me, baby

I perform this way

I might be wearin' Swiss cheese

Or maybe covered with bees

It doesn't mean I'm crazy

I perform this way

Ooo, my little monsters pay lots

'Cause I perform this way

Baby, I perform this way

Ooo, don't worry, I'm okay

Hey, I just perform this way

I'm not crazy, I perform this way

I'll be a troll or evil queen

I'll be a human jelly bean

'Cause every day is Halloween

For me

I'm so completely original

My new look is all the rage

I'll wrap my small intestines 'round my neck

And set fire to myself on stage

I'll wear a porcupine on my head

On a W-H-I-M

And for no reason now I'll sing in French

Excusez-moi, Qui a pété?

Got my straight jacket today

It's made of gold lamé

No, not because I'm crazy

I perform this way

I strap prime rib to my feet

Cover myself with raw meat

I'll bet you've never seen

A skirt steak worn this way

Don't be offended when you see

My latest pop monstrosity

I'm strange, weird, shocking, odd, bizarre

I'm Frankenstein, I'm Avatar

There's nothing too embarrassing

I'll honestly do anything

But wear white after Labor Day

'Cause baby I perform this way

Hope you won't think it's cliché

If I go nude today

Don't call the cops now, baby

I perform this way

No reason I should regret

All the attention I get

I'm not completely crazy

I perform this way, yeah

I perform this way, hey

I perform this way, hey

I'm always deviating from the norm this way, hey

I perform this way, hey

I perform this way, hey

I'm really not insane I just perform this way, hey