Sports Song

Your sports team is vastly inferior

That simple fact is plainly obvious to see

We’re gonna kick your collective posterior

Of course you realize we’re speaking figuratively

Our stats are thoroughly impressive

Our coach really has the midas touch

Our players are fast and strong and brave

And your guys, eh, not so much

In fact we’ve played teams across the nation

And you’re the worst one we’ve come across

Try to assimilate that information

And it just might help you cope with your impending loss

Oh, and if somehow we are still failing

To affectively articulate the points at hand

Allow us now to summarize them in a manner

That your feeble brains can understand

We’re great (we’re great)

And you suck (you suck)

We’re great (we’re great)

And you suck (you suck)

We’re great (we’re great)

And you suck (you suck)

You see there’s us (we’re great)

And then there’s you (you suck)

We’re really, really great (really great)

In contrast, you really suck (really suck)

Okay, full disclosure, we’re not that great

But nevertheless, you suck

Your sports team will soon suffer swift defeat

That theory’s backed up by empirical evidence

We’re gonna grind up your guys into burger meat

Again, of course, we’re speaking in the figurative sense

What’s the use of even going through the motions

When you know that you’re gonna lose anyhow

So why don’t you save us all some time

And give up now (you suck!)