Hot Rod Hotel

I'm a porter and a night clerk at the old Hot Rod Hotel

I clean and scrub the lobby down and thirty-one rooms as well

I wax and shine their boots and shoes

I brush down their crinkly clothes

And I meet the buses and trains and I show you to your door

Bell-bottom pants brought two boys in at six-fourteen last night

Two girls checked in at ten-oh-two and I flipped on the light

The lamrod's wife looks in their doors and finds one terrible sight

Those boys and girls got bawled up in their doors and rooms that night

A bloody flood could never mess these rooms up any worse

It looked like Moe had used this room to grease and breed a horse

Old gum and hairs and sticky rags, old bottles on the floors

Gobs of spit and condom rubbers on the windows, walls, and doors

The lammy tried to make me clean out that crappy mess

Or else he'd fire me off my job and let me starve to death

I laid aside my polish rag and I downed my dusting pan

And I've not seen the old Hot Rod nor that old town since then