Just the Facts Maam

I Was Born About Ten Thousand Years Ago

There Ain't Nothing in This World That I Don't Know

I Saw Peter, Paul and Moses Playing Ring Around the Roses

And I'll Whup the Guy Who Says It Isn't So

I'm Just a Lonesome Traveler, the Great Historical Bum

Highly Educated, From History I Come

I Built the Rock of Ages, Twas in the Year of One

and That Was the Biggest Thing That Man Has Ever Done

I Saw Satan When He Looked the Garden O'er

I Saw Eve and Adam Driven From the Door

From Behind the Bushes Peeping, Saw the Apple They Was Eating

I Swear That I'm the Guy What Ate the Core

Garden of Eden?

Well, I Built the Garden of Eden, It Was in the Year of Two

Joined the Apple Pickers Union and I Always Paid My Dues

I'm the Man Who Signed the Contract to Raise the Rising Sun

and That's About the Biggest Thing That Man Has Ever Done

I Taught Samson How to Use His Mighty Hands

Showed Columbus to This Mighty Land

And For Phaoroh's Little Kiddies Built All the Pyramiddies

And to the Sahara Carried All the Sand

Pyramids? Why...

I Was Straw Boss On the Pyramids, the Tower of Babel Too

I Opened Up the Ocean, Let the Migrant Children Through

Well, I Fought a Million Battles and I Never Lost a One

and That's About the Biggest Thing That Man Has Ever Done

I Taught Solomon His Little a B Cs

I Was the First One Ate Limburger Cheese

And While Sailing Down the Bay With Methuselah One Day

I Saved His Flowing Whiskers From the Breeze

Well I Was in the Revolution When We Set This Country Free

It Was Me and a Couple of Indians Who Dumped the Boston Tea

Well I Won the Battle of Valley Forge and the Battle Of

Bully Run

and That's About the Biggest Thing That Man Has Ever Done

Queen Elizabeth Fell Dead in Love With Me

We Were Married in Milwaukee Secretly

But I Snuck Around and Shook Her, to Go With General Hooker

To Fight Mosquiters Down in Tennessee