Disappear

Daddy I've been thinkin' about you lately

Mama's never here and step daddy hates me

He drinks a lot, it makes him so mean

Mama always screams and it gives me bad dreams

Today I dropped my bowl of s'ghetti on the floor

I didn't mean to make a mess, I tripped on one of my toys

I tried to clean it up, really I tried

But I just made it worse so I went to my room to hide

I knew if benny saw it I'd be in so much trouble

I didn't want to, but I did

And the thought of gettin' hit scared me so I didn't tell him

Benny saw it, he took off his belt and

You know... He hit me with it

Then he pushed my face in to the

Carpet where the s'ghetti spilled it

But I forgive him though

I love you daddy, I guess I gotta go

There's a moth on my window seal

And it came to die alone

Through the pain of the pouring rain

I gaze into the storm

And I imagine I'm the son of a man

Who will hold me close and near

With these bruises on my face I cry

While I pray to disappear

Daddy are you there?

I know you're probably busy off working somewhere

Helpin' somebody, build a house or somethin' neat

You told me what you did, carpentry, right?

Man, that's so cool, daddy

I really miss you, so much that I would kiss you

Yeah even front of my friends

I guess you know I'm gettin' sick again

I've been throwin' up, I haven't been playin' much

I missed a lot of school this week, but I'm tough

I'll make it, you know me, daddy

I don't get what I want most of the time but I'm patient

Hey if you get a second

Maybe tomorrow you could come by just to check in

Because my babysitter's crazy

Mama don't believe me but she makes me get naked

And I'm embarrassed so I hide it

I'm tellin' you because you know my heart and what's inside it

I gotta go to sleep but don't turn off the lights

I love you daddy, or should I say christ?

When the weeping willow

Tree sways from the breeze I float away

To the end of the world, to the moon, to the stars

To the heavens where I'm safe

I'm [?], I remain enslaved

I'm a life, I'm a world, I'm a rose, with the waste

Wake me up, let me live, let me breathe, let me breathe

Give me love, give me soul, give me guidance, give me peace