You Just Don't Do It For Me Friend

One, two, buckle my shoe...

Ah you know I've never really been that good with friends

I'll only let you in when I can see the end

I don't call back I'm never late

I talk like I'm fillin' holes or cake

It ain't that I don't like you you're just better off alone

You just don't wanna get too close to this guy

He'll pick at you like the raisins in a pie

If you got regular size feet

And your aftershave smells sweet

Keep your distance boy, it's curlin' up my toes

Like an arthouse movie or 50 dollar wine

I just miss the point every single time

But you just don't do it for me friend

And I just don't think I like the way this is gonna end

Did you notice how my eyes looked all around

When the talk turns back to you and how you found

That everything that you hold dear

Your prostate gland and your career

I'm listenin' just don't mess in my good ear

Like pawn shop furniture or arrowroot biscuits

I'm cheap and I'm everywhere and I'm good for five minutes

But you just don't do it for me friend

And I just don't think I like the way this is gonna end

Ah you just don't do it for me friend

I was there back row an empty show

You've dumped your band and you went an' gone solo

You sung so great but some notes hurt

You wiped the floor and you left no dirt

They loved you baby from the high C's to the pleats right in your skirt.

I met your pals and we made some tentative plans

For singing and drinking and buying new corduroy pants

You're the kick in the pants I just didn't expect

You're the playful strangle around the neck

You sure can't do it for me madame

You sure can't do it for me madame

Ah you know I've never really been that good with friends

But you sure can't do it for me madame

Ah you sure can't do it for me madame

Goddamn!