The Black People Song

This song is dedicated to a certain kind of people

Which just so happens to be my favorite kind of people

You know, the ones that, you know

You standing next to them and then

All of sudden it gets dark

I mean, you know, your best friend is

You know what I'm sayin', right?

Black people

I'ma steal your shoes

You better hide your wallet

Cause I'ma take that too

Black people

Hey

Black people

One big family

With a really big bucket

Of KFC

Black people

(Seriously, like all of us are related)

I ran into an old amigo named Juan Luis

The Mexican called me Apple

Cause we both hang from trees

Now I, I kinda took that in a joking way

But was he talking 'bout monkeys or the KKK?

We don't get sunburnt, just ashy knees

And we don't chew tobacco

But we will smoke weed

Puff, puff, pass like the train that could

And we can't spell neighbor

So we call it the hood

And most of us will die

With our finger on the trigger

I guess that's why they say I'm just a filthy little Spear chucking, chicken eating, melon sucking

Lone fetus, weed smoking, long penis

You get the picture

They tried to keep us out the White House again

But just like all white houses, one of us broke in

And welfare and diapers is all we got

If you don't wear my favorite color

Then you might get shot

(My favorite color is purple, by the way)

A black woman came to me to bash my song

I told her: All blacks are Democrats

Now prove me wrong

Black people

I'ma steal your shoes

You better hide your wallet

Cause I'ma take that too

Black people

Hey

Black People

One big family

With a really big bucket

Of KFC

Black people

(And it doesn't have to be KFC, we like Popeye's biscuits too)

Hey, hey

What's a black song without any rap in it, right?

Yo, check It, uhh, yo, yo, yo

It always starts out that way, right?

Yo!

Now, there's a line between discriminating and not in different places

You are if you use the N word, but if you're black then you're not racist

I mean, well, I guess you can, just not around your black friends

You'll get jumped by every cousin, including the one behind that trash can

Now, let me tell you a story, back before America was stolen

There were two tribes of black people, the Indians and the Po' Ones

The Indians were like caramel, the Po One's were like sharpies

I guess that's why they call them Pilgrims, and why they call us Darkies

The Indians had all the horses, land, turkeys, the geniuses

The Po One's killed their horses, took their hair and their penises

But uh, there's not really a moral to this story though

Except that we will steal your goodies, and that is how the story goes

Black people

I'ma steal your shoes

You better hide your wallet

Cause I'ma take that too

Black people

Hey

Black People

One big family

With a really big bucket

Of KFC

Black people

Black People

Since '72

Going broke making cheap cars

Taller than you

Black people

(Ok, you gotta admit

We do have some nice rims though, right?)

Black people

Front Porch monkey

With a blunt and a banana

Ooo aaa, eee eee!

Black people

Hey, hey!

(This is probably the most racist song I've ever written

But if you laughed, you're racist too

So I don't feel bad

Besides, it's not racist if I'm black)