Haunted

I don't know why I can't shake this

Feel like I've been living life in the matrix

I don't even feel alive it don't make sense

I just wanna be alright I fucking hate this

Tell me when's it gonna change

Cause every single person keeps saying the same thing

Stay strong now you'll make it through the pain

But its hard to see the sun when you're living in the rain

I barely know my dad now his hair's all grey

Cause I spent all of my time doing drugs, trynna fade

Out all of the demons when I couldn't get away

I never said I love you instead I would say I hate

All this time gone that I can't get back

Feel like every single night I'm just living in the past

I lie and say I'm happy every single time I'm asked

I don't wanna be a burden so I just put on a mask

Forty-Thousand people telling me I can't quit

I promise that I'm fighting just keep praying that I win

Still got a lot of things that I still keep in

And I need to let them go I don't know where to begin

I used to watch my pap slap my gram and he'd laugh as she ran

And I didn't understand the man was so bad

So I treated him better than I did my own dad

I was so damn young I didn't understand

I seen shit that a kid never should

I bottle it all up and act like I'm good

Reality is I'm just so fucking shook

I feel like an outcast so misunderstood

I miss being young

Back when I didn't have problems, just fun

Back before I had to worry about funds

Now to feel that way I gotta get drunk

I'm still stuck in this rut

Honestly feel like I'll never be up

I'm sick of this feeling I swear that it's fucked

I need to make changes reality sucks

Still don't know who I am

I look in the mirror like: Who is this man?

I still have no clue of my purpose or path

But something keeps telling me that I should rap

So I keep moving

Took all my pain and then started a movement

I swear to you all that this is more than just music

I put all my life into all that I'm doing

I can't let the fans down

Gotta stick to the plan now

And hope it all pans out

I don't know how but I know this my path now

Sacrificing my life

Turning down friends just to stay in and write

I'm watching them live as I'm sitting behind

And I just keep on drowning but say that I'm fine

Feel like I'm alone

I got all these problems and nobody knows

Everything changing I hate that I know

I used to be happy but now I'm so cold

Cause home isn't home

I just keep on running don't know where to go

These demons keep coming I hope I don't fold

I risk my whole life for this path that I chose