This Winter

Tomorrow's new dawn breaks the silver frost,

But today's gray canvas makes me feel lost.

It smells like falling stars every time she comes near;

They crash in my eyes and burn up my tears.

A colorless sky obscures the heart on my sleeve,

Entreating a reprieve, while watching her grieve.

It's getting late and dark and cold and I want to explain,

Though, such a thing's a hollow, dire and worthless refrain.

This winter inside-

Deliverance denied where bloodless blossoms wilt and die.

Go-Stop snowing on my head.

Go-I don't want your rain on my back.

Go-Stop making me feel numb.

Go-I need you to let me forgive me.

Through a blizzard of regrets I toss and turn and thrash.

Flakes fall on my tongue and they taste just like ash.

Each obsidian raindrop that collides with my skin

Is a souvenir of pain from the black rain of shame.

Every burning bridge's warmth is cause to apologize,

Even though her trust is lying covered with flies.

I am become my own indignant Montresor-

Brick by repentant brick, sealing off my hollow core.

This winter inside-

Her mercy purified where I keep me crucified

Go-Stop blowing in the windows.

Go-I don't want your chill on me.

Go-Stop pounding me with rain.

Go-I need you to let me forgive...

This endless season of guilt.

This aimless shambling in a cage I built.

I swore I'd make her fall in love with me again,

But she always has loved me.

Go-Stop bleeding me with frozen knives.

Go-I don't need you cutting me.

So go-Stop shredding all my self-esteem.

Go-I need you to let me forgive...me.