Page type: lyric reference
Artist: Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy.
Canonical path: /abbreviated-life-expectancy/kentucky-jones-part-4
Related lyric paths: 6
Lyric guide
Kentucky Jones (part 4)
Read Kentucky Jones (part 4) lyrics by Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. on LyroVerse, with linked artist context and related song paths.
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Curated by Ethan Walker
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Lyrics
Kentucky Jones (part 4)
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Announcer:
Scene 4. Kentucky Jones arrives in the Heimlech Manure Mountains.
Kentucky: Ahhh, damn... that was a big climb...
Kid: Quit whining! You're supposed to be the hero!
Kentucky: Oh yeah! (manly cough) There's an entrance to the Bark Temple according to this map! Let's go kid!
Announcer: In the mountain now...
Kentucky: Ah, the Bark is down that way.
Kid: Wait! My father says that the Bark is guarded by a bunch of hippies!
Kentucky: Hippies? I HATE HIPPIES!
Muckraker: Hello again Doctor Jones...
(grabs Kid)
Kid: Let me go!
Kentucky: No! Not you again!
Muckraker: I believe I was supposed to kill you...
Carmen: NINE! Let's just get zee bark and get out of here!
Muckraker: Shutup or you die too. Now Jones, you die.
(shoots at Kentucky, but Carmen jumps in the way)
Carmen: Nine!
Kentucky: Carmen! No!
Muckraker: Fine, you get the Bark Jones! It's the only thing that can save her...
Carmen: Kentucky, please hurry!
Kentucky: Right!
Kid: Don't forget about the hippies! And watch your step! One wrong move and you'll fall thousands of feet to your death!
Kentucky: Now you tell me. Alright, let's do this Kentucky!
Announcer: Deeper into the caves
(Kentucky encounters some stoned hippies guarding the bark)
Hippies: Whoah... Man... yeah... dude....
(kentucky almost falls of a ledge)
Kentucky: Whoah! God Damn, that was close...
Hippies: Bark, Bark a load man!
Kentucky: Uh, I need that bark you God Damned hippies.
Hippies: Shutup, hatebreeder! Peace man! It's the only way!
Kentucky: Uhhh... ooopsy!
(shoves all the hippies off the ledge)
Hippies: Whoaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh duuuuuude!
Kentucky: Fuckin hippies... god damnit.... ALRIGHT! I'VE GOT THE BARK!
Kid: (yelling) HURRY BACK! CARMEN'S ALMOST DEAD!
Kentucky: (running) I'm coming Carmen! I'm Coming!
Carmen: (crying) KENTUCKY!!!
Kentucky: (returns) Here... Oh god, eat this bark. It'll save you...
(Carmen eats the bark and grumbles...)
(a shot is heard)
Muckraker: My lieben!
Kentucky: What the!? Who killed Muckraker!?
Kid: FATHER!
Kid's Father: Yes! It's me! I see you found my bark!
Kentucky: Two things. Alright, first of all, this bark isn't working. Secondly, NICE SHOT MAN! You nailed Muckraker!
Kid's Father: Thank you! But she's going to die anyway you stupid white man imperialist!
Kentucky: What!? But I gave her the Lost Bark!!!
Kid's Father: Yeah? So? I never said it had any special powers. It was just lost!
(Carmen Dies...)
Kid's Father: See? You imbecile!
Kentucky: Oh well, let's leave these two dead Nazi's alone. It's time to get back to the USofA
Kid: (crying) Kentucky... You're my hero!
Kentucky: (chuckles) Ahhh sure kid... sure!
Announcer: Stay tuned. Same time, next tape! For Kentucky Jones' new and exciting adventure in "The Quest For The Holy Pail"!
All Actors: Yeah! Wooo Hooo! We're done! That was great! Alright! Saawing Batter! hooo hoo hoo!
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Who performs "Kentucky Jones (part 4)"?
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. performs "Kentucky Jones (part 4)", and this lyric page sits inside the Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. catalog on LyroVerse.
Are there related songs to explore after "Kentucky Jones (part 4)"?
Yes. The related section below points to Choke On It, Hippie and The Truth About Jimmy Hoffa with a short reason for opening each page next.
Where can I find more songs by Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy.?
Use the artist link near the top of the page or the related paths section below to keep moving through Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy.'s lyric pages.
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