Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy.
Lyric guide

The Pope Is Pissed

Read The Pope Is Pissed lyrics by Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. on LyroVerse, with linked artist context and related song paths.

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Page type: lyric reference Artist: Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. Canonical path: /abbreviated-life-expectancy/the-pope-is-pissed Related lyric paths: 6
Lyrics

The Pope Is Pissed

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I talked one on one with the Pope today

And he's REALLY pissed off

He told me, and I quote,

"I hate this fuckin' job..."

He ranted on and on about how much he wishes

He could have lived his "true dreams" and instead

He had to settle for being the most highly respected

Religious official on earth.

I was shocked to hear about how he wanted to

Open up his own used-car lot.

I can see the commercials now,

"And if you buy a car in the next month,

We will give you a free communion and no extra charge!"

But no, he's miserable.

I met his wife...

Yeah, he's married.

Not many people know this,

her name is Helga and she lives in

A secret hideout place underneath

The Amazon River.

The Pope knows nobody will find her there

Since the piranhas would eat anyone alive.

The Pope never gets bothered by the piranhas

They know "he's the pope" and wouldn't want

To go to "Fish Hell".

He told me about how much he hates waving to

Everyone at the stupid gatherings and services

He told me how much he hates bread and wine

And would much rather have some meat and a Jolt cola.

I feel sorry for the guy

Actually, it could be an entertaining job.

I'm sure he gets lots of benefits from it.

I bet Visa never turned down one of his credit applications...

"Sorry Pope, your credit isn't good enough for us."

"Ha Ha! Fuck you then! You're going straight to hell!"

"Oh! Ummmm, what was I thinking!? Here's a Visa-Gold! Here, have five of 'em!"

Maybe if I aspire to start my own used-car lot

I could become the pope too....

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Who performs "The Pope Is Pissed"?

Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. performs "The Pope Is Pissed", and this lyric page sits inside the Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. catalog on LyroVerse.

Are there related songs to explore after "The Pope Is Pissed"?

Yes. The related section below points to Choke On It, Hippie and The Truth About Jimmy Hoffa with a short reason for opening each page next.

Where can I find more songs by Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy.?

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