Northern Birds

If you go to Bolton,

If you go to Manchester or Crewe,

Newcastle or Scarborough,

York or Scunthorpe,

Bradford,

Barnsley too

Or Grimsby

Listen up to what we have to say

Northern birds

Are lazy, ugly whores who

Smell of burgers.

So don't have too much to drink

Or you might fuck one

And end up getting AIDs.

There's nothing fun

To be found up the M1.

Northern birds are lower class slags

Who take it up the arse.

They're in the sack

After one cider and black.

But they're fucking awful rides

And your dick won't touch the sides.

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Northern birds

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If you really have to

Go up North then follow our advice

Fight away the women

Or you'll find yourself with pubic lice

And herpes.

You're much better staying in the South.

Northern birds

Are desparate ugly hippos

Dressed in burberry

With a peanut for a brain

And an accent that makes you want to die.

Now you've been warned

They're all physically deformed.

Northern birds are all obese

And they're riddled with disease

Try to escape

Northern sex is worse than rape.

Stay down South

And mark my words

Steer well clear of Northern birds.

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Northern birds

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