David J. Is a Sickness

You're helpless, and hopeless

You wanna help out the homeless

But you've got problems

You're selfish, and worthless

And you have no fucking purpose

You're a cancer-causing, cancer-having slob

There are morals that conflict with orals

That conflict with anals that believe in angels

Angels are hating on you

If good is the absence of evil

And evil is the absence of good

There is an axis of evil

Rolling into this neighborhood

With the sound of gunshots

Bang! Pow!! Pswchh!!!

It was then that I found I am a vampire

I have fangs fucking 15 inches long

The sanguinary sweetness of stealing someone's blood

Feels so good I am compelled to sing this song

And at night when I retire to my coffin

To sleep for a hundred years or more

All you people that I know will have died long ago

And your children will have died ten years before